"... Do I leave my husband or do I stay? When do you know? ..."
It's one of those weird "Zen things" i think - or it always has been for me anyway. Unfortunately, i think it sometimes takes "hitting bottom" ourselves - - - for me it's been when i just plain
do not want to do this any more! and then i "know" it's time to ____________ (fill in the blank).
i'd like to suggest Toby Rice Drews' book "Getting Them Sober" (my 'bible' lately!) - She talks about making decisions like the one you ask about. i like how she says that we can make a decision, change our minds, change them back again, etc and
That's OK! 
(her book is where i got my 1st glimpse of Al-anon 20 yrs ago)
i'm learning/re-learning that life is about taking care of ME FIRST - (+ the "small ones" if you have them!)
No one can tell us
when/what to do cuz only
WE live in our own skin/hearts/mind/etc. - and it's different for everyone, even tho our situations are so similar. (I'm unique, just like everyone else!
)
i LOVE this forum! when i don't have the the energy it takes me to post, i simply read and read and read all the old posts - and am amazed at how NOT alone i am.
****{hugs}}}
Take Care!
Blue
a bit unfocused + rambly today