Welcome, Nightowl!
Whether he is an alcoholic or not, it is obviously affecting you, which is why we're here. It isn't an easy life living the way you have, and I can completely relate. I am on my third relationship with people who have addictions, and I have kids that have been deeply affected by the whole thing. I have learned to accept that I can't change that he drinks, but I can change how I deal with it. I have set some pretty sturdy boundaries and continue to set them. I have realized that I didn't cause him to drink EVER, that I can't control it in any way, and that I can't cure it (the Alanon big 3 "Cs"). It can get better, whether you choose to stay or to go. I also take my relationship one day at a time, since I too questioned whether it was time for me to go when I started working on my codependent issues 6 months ago, that really makes it easier.
Anyways, there is a lot of support here and I hope to hear from you again!
Take care,
Sfg29