ggghhyh585 --I understand what you are saying.
I first went to AA by court mandate. When it came to my turn to talk I just said I was there to listen. At the end of the meeting I got my signature (required by my probation officer) and bolted.
My turning point came when I told my story for about the fifth time (I think) and before I could leave the room (after getting the signature) two guys came to me and started talking --at first I wasn't interested in their chat, but I politely listened. Something happenned that night when I got home, I began to wonder if my newfound sobriety had merit with other newbies --I also wondered if my own newbie stories brought recognition and encouragement to the experienced AA attendees. I guess I felt belonged to a group, something I didn't feel before.
Two meetings isn't enough (sorry, I wish it were too)... When I was mandated to go to three meetings a week I got that little yellow book for the Denver area and shopped around... at first I attended different meetings because I was anxious that when I said "I am here to listen not talk" that someone would call me out, or worse, not sign my attendance form. Of course that never happened.
I wonder if you just need to find the meeting that appeals to you --the right personalities for instance, or the fewer chain smokers, or a better smelling church basement.
My only advice is to keep trying.
Girlfriend issue: when I kept relapsing I lost my mojo --my benders were 7 to 10 days with me left in bed feeling like I was dying from withdrawal (even with the low dose valium pills I bought off the homeless).
The mojo does comes back with long-term sobriety. For now, however, put your recovery first and the results will eventually come.