Hey Dallas, I am Martin, no secret there, and I am an alcoholic, that also is not a secret.
So you say you are a drunk huh? Well I was a drunk for many years, the last 5 years of my drinking I did not draw a sober breath, getting sober was the easy part for me............. I just fricking gave up!!! I surrendered, I was willing to tell anyone that I have no idea how to stop drinking and STAY stopped. I told the entire truth to a Doctor because I thought he may have an answer for my alcoholism.
Well his initial answer was to put me into detox.
In detox they told me to go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor. Well I did just that.
I stopped fighting, I surrendered to the fact that I had not a single clue of how to stay sober.
Dallas what does your track record show about staying sober your way?
I went to far more then 90 AA meetings in 90 and I got a sponsor the first night. You see I had quit fighting, I stuck out my hand, asked for help in staying sober and the folks in AA took me by the hand and said "Want what we have? Do what we did and continue to do."
Guess what Dallas? I had given up, I was willing to do what ever it took to get and stay sober. These people all had a proven track record of staying sober, obviously they had learned how to stay sober and they were more then happy to share with me how they had stayed sober.
Dallas are you willing to do what ever it takes to get and stay sober?
If you are, REALLY are willing, then you should be able to follow a few simple suggestions that have worked for millions of other alcoholics right?
If you are not at that point yet, keep drinking and trying to stop your way, alcohol will do one of 2 things:
1. It will kill you!
2. It will bring you enough pain to make you willing to do what ever it takes to stay stopped.
Dallas you are so right, you are who I was just over 3 years ago.
I am the shadow you want to forget, the mirror you want to pass by , the memory of how you were just a short time ago.
No Dallas, I do not want to forget who I was, you and many others like you help me to remember where I came from, a HUGE part of my recovery is offering the solution that worked for me and millions of others to you and any other suffering alcoholic who seeks a solution for thier alcoholism.
Dallas I love myself today, not in an egotistical way, but I care about me today, I was you, I walked in your shoes for MANY years.
I have been in that hole you are in right now! Want out of that hole?
First things first, give up on digging the hole any deeper......... now look up...... see a way out that you know will work? I looked up and all I saw was NOTHING!!! I was hopeless, I had no solution, I knew of no way out of that damn hole!
At this point of hopelessness I surrendered, I reached out and I asked for help because I knew that my way only kept me digging the hole deeper. Well a group of recovering alcoholics hopped in that hole with, they took my hand, they smiled and they said "Follow us, we have found a way out of this hole." I stopped fighting and simply followed them along the same path they had taken.
Dallas it sounds as though you are getting close, I pray you get there before alcohol kills you.