I totally agree with the idea of quitting without the antibuse and becoming more spiritual. It's hard to explain, but when I hit bottom and began to recover, I had to change everything about myself, from the inside out. I have talked before about Mia Farrow's book "What Falls Away" which referred to a huge crisis in her life, a core-shaking crisis. What falls away is all the stuff that you don't need, that isn't you, that keeps a barrier between you and your life's purpose. What is left behind, is the core of who you are.