The main reason that AA refers to it as a disease is because the foundation of AA is the first step "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable." It's symantics and splitting hairs for me. Whatever we call it, I don't have it. My husband does. He is the one who is responsible for the consequences of and recovery from alcoholism. I am responsible for the recovery from the effects on me. I have to focus on myself and not the alcoholic. I have to learn that whether I accept that he is powerless or not, my resentment and blaming is only hurting myself. There is no solution in blaming the alcoholic for where I am in my life. I take responsibility for moving forward and not clinging to the past wrongs that were done to me. That has taken a lot of working the steps, prayer, time, and support of the people in recovery. I thank God every day for what Alanon has given me. Hugs, Magic