GG- Welcome. Glad you are here.
Regarding AA - go to a lot of different meetings until you find a format you like. Don't give up because of a couple of bad experiences at meetings. It took all of us a little time to find the right meeting for us.
Regarding never drinking again - I had to make the mind shift of "I decide not to drink today". I don't worry about next month, next year, or my lifetime. This is a manageable goal and won't stress you out as much. Focus on today.
Regarding sex - for most alcoholics, we have addictive personalities. This shows up in alcohol, hobbies, work, sex, etc. I know it is hard right now, but try to relax about it. As others have said, you are actually better at it while sober. Right now, notice how those feelings are one of your problems for which alcohol is your solution.
The key is that we alcoholics need to begin developing the life tools to deal with whatever life throws at us -- without alcohol. The only way to develop these tools is to be sober, but just being sober doesn't automatically help us develop the tools. So, as with anything that is worth something, we have to work at it.
Glad you are here.
