I know therein lies the crux. I want to believe that I can drink responsibly but sometimes I use alcohol as a sexual lubricant, even with my g/f and a couple of weeks ago after a bender I just felt different one morning, like I wasn't even aroused and just felt not interested in sex which caused me to drink more and so on.
This has been going on for the last month with maybe 2 sober days...it is a brutal cycle that is hard to break for me.