Friday is my day 30 and this post has been bubbling inside me so I'm not waiting until Friday. I am trying to talk myself into having a glass of wine this weekend. Despite dishing out advise and support to others and feeling quite the hypocrite right now, this is how I'm trying to convince myself why it would be okay: I've done well - I can reward myself. Others relapse - no big deal just start again - nobody even has to know. I sooo much want to be a normal drinker and enjoy those relaxing moments. And finally to sum it all up: Who gives a sh.... I just wanna drink!
Physically I've been feeling great (of course), emotionally my nerves are on overload and feel electrically charged.
the one with the club is me and the other ....... well everybody else I guess. I remember years ago I went on the original Atkins diet and did fairly well. All of a sudden I wanted a funnel cake (big no no) gee it was so good when I ate it.
Why am I even telling you all this? My thoughts are all over the place. I have to remind myself that the funnel cake didn't make me feel like throwing up the next day or a failure. It didn't make me wake up with a bloody face and no recollection of how it happened. It was just a funnel cake, so why the heck am I comparing it to a glass of wine? Any inside knowledge or experience to this twisted psycho analysis would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
