Hmmm...I suppose my real problem is not life after all......do I really feel like the only way I can stop alcohol from ruining my life is to end it myself? What sense does that make? Oh my god. I just want it to stop.
Three years ago: When I was sober, or as sober as I could get in between drinking, I was thinking of not wanting to drink anymore - until lunchtime, after that I was looking forward to having the first. And.........once I was drunk I didn't want to live anymore, because of this because of that but most of all because of the drink. In a way it was a good thing I always drunk until I passed out, because I can remember vividly wanting to get up and do myself in, but I was too drunk to get up. You are not alone believe me. I'm even surprising myself that I'm brave enough to write this down for everybody to read. There were no real reasons, nothing was that bad - it was the most powerful depressant that I was taking that was making me feel this way - booze. Yes I get depressed, yes I get anxious and sometimes down and feel so blue, but ...... without a drink I get on with life and don't want to stop it anymore. You can feel this way too. Keep posting.