Yea TB..I know about all that 'Why would you want to be on this side of town' thinkng. I use to get it all the time. Had it not been for the drugs, I wouldnt have been. I wouldnt have seen a fraction of the things I did. I remember seeing how some people lived in my early days in the street and it baffled me. I was so clueless. Thank goodness for my people in Greensboro who took me under their wing and showed me the ways of the street. That sounds stupid, But its true. They could have just took full advantage of someone as new and naive as I was and I probably wouldnt had lasted as long as I did.
They showed me the ins and outs and also gave me protection. For what reasons I still dont know. I may have to ask next time I write one of them. Now we are just like blood family at a distance. Never seen a drug dealer refuse me dope until then. Oh yes..They exist. All my people in Greensboro would rather see me take my butt home than make their pockets fat. Its happened. Hundred dollars and nobody will give me anything. Instead hold me hostage and call the grams to come get me. Hows that doing? Thats when you know you are strung out. When even the dealers want you to go home.
I remember them telling me to go home cause I was jumpin around too much and stuff. Thats what crack addicts do after days of use. Just jump around. Irking and jerking. CAnt sit still. Try being like that in front of the cops and trying to look normal. Yea right.
I guess I can look back now and be very dam grateful for what I did have. Not just from the people I somehow found out there. But also that I had a family who stod by me no matter what. With all that on my side. I guess I could be in alot worse places, Not only then, but now definately.
I can relate to the addiction part of the gutter. But not coming back to it trying to get your life strait. Its easy for em to say I can do it with all this support and a home and family to comfort me. I will never know what its liek to have to go back to the same area and the same situaitons and try and stay clean.
But your right.It doesnt matter where we came from. But where we ended up. And I know I could very asily have ended up with nothing and no one had I kept going like I was. Anyway. Gotta go to work. Start training for the new position today. Thx everyone. I think the weather may be a factor in my depression lately.