I know that I am fully, unconditionally responsible for drinking this past Saturday night and I do not need people to tell me that if my world were as I want it to be maybe I would not drink. I don't expect that and never have. I do have a problem with my current situation and with 48 days sober up till this past Saturday, I allowed an emotional situation to get out of control and I drank over it. The counselor I spoke with today explained it as playing old tapes because there are no new tapes in place at this time. That makes a little sense, but the truth is it really doesn't matter why I drank, it happened and now I need to get back on track and follow a program that helps me stay free of the first drink. I completed the intake process today and will begin the 16 week out-patient program next week , so I feel I'm on the right track for now.
Regarding the lady staying with me, after my meeting this morning, she and I talked and I asked her if she was feeling ok, and she then told me she suffers from chronic fatique syndrome and fibromyalgia, both of which I know nothing about. Well, I felt like a total jerk for my expectations lately and thinking she was just lazy, because now I know it's from her health condition. I've decided to just let her be for now and focus on school and the out-patient program and staying sober. That's enough for me for now. Besides, she is a much better cook than I am and knows the kitchen alot better than I do, so there are good things to consider.
Thanks for all your replies.