Well enough Unwell
Hello,
I will try to keep this short,
I found your community this morning and have not left the page since. I was sitting at a local pub contemplating the manner in which I exist. I still sit in the same spot. Alcohol and drugs have consumed me as I have embraced consuming them. Last week I realized I have a serious problem and can without shame acknowledge that I am an alcoholic and addict. I want to stop. Truly.
Over the last couple of years the experiences in which I have partaken to have been so drastic that I have pinned their occurrences almost entirely on the use and consumption of alcohol.
•My mother is a lifelong alcoholic who is currently terminal and on the later stages of cirrhosis, she has approximately 3 months.
•I was arrested and convicted of DUI last year, lost my Firefighter and paramedic licenses. And will never drive an engine or ambulance again.
•Since, I have had 3 jobs that I have been unable to hold due to my addiction.
•My girlfriend and I went to party with a superior of mine from work which ended up in her being raped as I was performing CPR on his wife for respiratory failure due to excessive alcohol intake.
•While on a vacation with my girlfriend and her friends we were driving home on I-5 all of us intoxicated and wrecked at 75MPH. We were all shaken up and bloody but in our intoxicated rant decided to flee the scene and drive 500 miles home. Fortunately we made it.
My mental illness progressed, I was diagnossed with bi-polar disorder and was hauled in by 6 police officers to a mental hospital due to my hallucinations.
These are just a few of my several stories. You share with me and I share with you.
I am thankful to whoever the spirit may be that has kept me alive to this point. I did not hit anyone in my dui, nor did my girlfriend receive one when she should have. I am grateful to be alive most of the time.
I am here to seek other inspirations and interpretations of this disease we all share. As destructive as she is, I believe she is beautiful. My beautiful disease, OUR beautiful disease.
Thank you for welcoming me to your community.
Be well.