sunflowergal29

Hi, everyone! I haven't posted for a while, but have been reading daily. Not really sure why, just that I think sometimes I need to shut my mouth and listen/internalize things (not one of my better traits, lol).
I have been getting a little frustrated, trying to help a friend of mine who is suffering from depression. I have been trying to sit back and pray that she finds her way, for her sake and her kids', and I have had to remind myself that I am very powerless over her choices.
Yet, I obsess like a faithful codie. What can I do to help? Well, I can't fix her, I know that or do I?
Anyways, I even stayed up obsessing the other night, finally falling asleep at around 5:30 am. I am ashamed that after being in my recovery for the last 6 months, there I was awake thinking, thinking, thinking. Yuck. Not something I want or need to do anymore- to get a whole 1.5 hours of sleep in a night b/c of my obsessing. I care about her, but I need to live my life, not hers.
Being codependent with my h, "S", I have noticed a lot of behaviors that I have changed in the last 6 months. But with her, it just seems so much harder to do. I want to be 100% honest with her all the time, yet I end up trying to fix her. It seems like the more time I spend in recovery, the more I realize that I have many codie issues with everyone around me in one way or another.
Thanks for listening.
-sfg29