I like The Language of Letting Go meditation series ---something to read every morning before meditating. I also like Letting Go With Love. And my other favorite would probably be Recovery: A Guide forAdult Children of Alcoholics. I didn't necessarily find it to be a 'guide' but it did provide a lot of information about behvaviors and trends of acoa--helped me identify my 'place' in the whole bit of dysfunction ---I also saw where my brothers fit in, as well. Interesting reading.
I'm sure anything you can find on the subject will have SOMETHING helpeful within it.....let me know how that book is, maybe I'll order it next.
Glad to hear you are happily married...and glad to hear you are not planning on allowing your 4 year old grow up in that toxic environment. What an amazing thing you're doing for your own family. I wish you peace.