Thank you for your message, it is very reassuring. I just went on line and orderd a book from al-anon Hope Today I think it's called. It's about ACOA experiences etc. Do you have any advice on good books?
PS My son is 4 now and I am happily married : ) He has been exposed to her and she drunk drove with him in the car - which triggered my search for help. That and many months of beating my head against a brick wall.