Firestorm,
Sorry to hear you're back drinking. I know it's been a struggle for you. If nothing else, it may confirm some ideas you have about being an alcoholic. You're sincerely trying to not drink, and ending up drunk. Have you considered that it's not the situation with the roommate making you drink, but a mental obsession? I know when I was struggling to get sober (and I struggled for a couple of years like you are), I always found some circumstance in my life that was the 'cause' of my relapse. And really, the cause was that I was an alcoholic. My sickness manifests in rationalization and justification. I make up a lie, I tell others about it, I hear myself telling them, and then I believe it.
My guess is, your situation has nothing whatsoever to do with your drinking, even though it may seem like it does.
Originally Posted by
firestorm090 
...and I need to learn different ways of coping with stress in my life.
This, my friend, was the single biggest deterrent to my sobriety. I always thought that I knew what I needed to do to stay sober. It was when I gave up on knowing what I thought I needed, that I became willing to follow directions from people that had recovered. I started working in the BB with a sponsor on the very first day I didn't drink (that's today for you), and I didn't pause until I'd had a spiritual awakening that removed the obsession to drink. Actually, I still haven't paused.
And the funniest thing happened. I started to cope with stress and life in a completely different way.