From reading your post and Givelove's post, I recall that I have probably had to deal with this alcoholism way before I really ever knew about it??
My mother has been on again, off again, on again, off again for many years. When I moved to Australia, I was living with my best friend for about a year and she thought it was really odd that my mother NEVER called or wrote to me? She asked me one day why? And I said she was just like that and always had been, she made a comment that hit me hard. She said that my mother was the parent and that's what parents do! I then called my mom and asked her why she never calls or writes and she said "if you've just called to moan then forget it" and hung up on me. She didn't speak to me for 2 years after that!!
I went to counselling during this period as I was in a foreign country and felt unloved, unwanted, rejected etc etc - a familiar feeling to me growing up. I went for a few months and my sessions were almost exclusivley about my mother. But I didn't know at the time she was an alcoholic, so my therapy didn't deal with that issue.
She did start speaking to me again, after I contacted my dad and told him I was in England for Xmas and would I be welcome to visit. He checked with her and she said yes. It was on this visit that I told her I was pregnant and engaged and then she couldn't get enough of me.
I am still no contact with my mother for just over 2 weeks and am starting to calm down about things. I wrote her my first detachment with love letter last week (which was just awful) and I have no idea how she will respond. I have moments of guilt and sorrow and question myself as to whether I am being too harsh with her?
I am going to my second al-anon meeting tonight, which I am looking forward to and I am thinking now that therapy could be a good thing to revisit.
The main thing that gives me strength is reading messages like yours. Thank you for your post, it so nice to see someone that has managed to live with this and made their lives ultimately better. I can only hope that my situation will become better to handle as time goes on.