Cravings - Three Months - Will they ever stop?
This is the first time I’ve been at this site and I'm looking for some support. I'm 40 and have been drinking since I was 14. Over the course of 20 years my drinking habits increased to the point last summer where I drank every night usually four sometimes eight glasses of wine or liquor. Fortunately, I have been lucky and have been able to maintain all my responsibilities without any problems. I have a good job and consider myself to be successful in it and I’m close with my wife and two teenage children (married for 19 years). I guess you could say I’m the typical closet drinker keeping my drinking habits secret to everyone. I did go to my family doctor in January and I opened up to him. He put me on an anti-depressant which seemed to help me but I continued to try to moderate my drinking instead of quitting completely.
On July 23, 2009 I woke up with a massive hangover after drinking three bottles of red wine by myself. It was at that moment that I accepted my condition 100% - I AM AN ALCOHOLIC. I made the decision to stop once and for all. I sat down with my wife and told her how scared I was that I was unable to control my drinking. She has supported me fully and since that day, no alcohol has entered our house. I went cold turkey and will celebrate month three next Thursday.
Here’s where I could use some feedback from others… I’m finding that instead of getting easier like I hoped it would, the last two weeks have been almost as hard at the first two weeks. I find myself craving alcohol so badly that every ounce of my being wants it. Stress is definitely a trigger for me so on especially tough days at work, my evenings can be excruciating as I sit and think about how good it would be if I could only cop a little buzz. It’s been so bad the last few days that I’m finding myself questioning the benefits of sobriety! If this is what my life is going to be like for the next 20 years, I’d rather die a drunk! Will these cravings ever go away!!
Going to AA is not an option as I live in a pretty small community and I’m not ready to share my condition with others.
Do any of you have any advice?