hello nothing and welcome to sr.there is plenty of support here.i was a blackout drinker too,,amongst other things! i went to AA as i also could not at all quit on my own,i had no power to do this,as far as will power with alcohol was concerned it was zilch.i have a few very good friends in AA a great sponsor and a good support network here on sr.i went to AA at the beginign of the year,got a sponsor and got on the 12 step recovery programme.my life has changed beyond recognition.i was a hopeless helpless drunk and so spriitually sick my head was permanently in the gutter.not so now,things are great and they can be for you too.honesty,open mindedness and willingness,,thats what you need,can you do that? i wish you well.