That's difficult. It's hard to see our loved ones go downhill and get older especially if they are alcoholics. That just makes it so much worse. I have told my dad not to buy my mom's wine but when they go shopping they buy it in large quantities at Costco or wherever they happen to go. We are creatures of habit and when you have done something for so long it is soooo very hard to just not do it. I think my dad just can't change his behavior of enabling either unless he gets some outside help and understands what he is up against. I have also told him that he should get help and go to an Al Anon meeting in his area. I even went on line and found the ones nearest to him. But that too is very hard to do at their age they are so set in their ways. It's like pulling the deepest roots out of the ground. I believe he is in denial. So I have resorted to not even talk about it anymore and keep my distance (easier to do since I live approx 150 mi away), even with phone calls, which is harder to do. It has helped give me more peace and I feel I am not trying to fix what I can't. I'm trying not to lose my temper and have been going to meetings myself to help change my behavior and responses so I show love but don't provoke, beg, yell or enable either. Hope you can use some of this info for yourself. Al Anon might be a great solution because you need to work on your own healing. You will get some wonderful ideas and support. You will learn so much about this disease and how it affects the whole family. How to respond to certain situations, deal with the alcoholic and codependent...and much more. I hope there is one in your area but if not keep coming here. This site has helped me tremendously. I come here maybe three times a week. I don't always post, sometimes I just read but I always learn something.
God Bless