Originally Posted by Valleyd

I just celebrated nine months clean and sober yesterday. I don't know how I've managed to hold on as long as I have. I feel so overwhelmed. I've been on here before and I apologize as its just to vent as I need to get this stuff off my chest.

My roommate has Stage 4 lung cancer and its in her lymph nodes. I went with her to the oncologist yesterday and he told her that he recommends chemo. With her particular situation, the treatment he would be giving her has a 60% chance of improving her health and only a 10% chance of any side affects. She has come to the decision that she would rather just die and "be comfortable" as she does so. (Meaning getting all doped up on meds). She doesn't want to deal with anything...she expects me to. I am trying to do my best but its really wearing on me. She's not in her right mind and she's messed up on pain meds most of the time. I'm trying to stay clean and sober to get my life together from scratch. When I arrived here, I was coming bac k from 2 years on the streets, followed by jail, followed by detox, then probation, I have no car and no license for 14 more months...and the job situation is iffy. I actually got hired for a really nice part time job and now they want me to go for fingerprints and a background check. I have to go in Monday and tell them I'm a recovering addict and what they're going to find and see if they would still be willing to keep me on. My sponsor tells me I have to surrender and turn it over and all that stuff, and I do understand that in theory but its easier said than done. Sigh...