My Father Is a Drunk.
Every Friday and Saturday night when my step mom is gone doing her thing with her clubs and activities, my dad drinks. A LOT.
My oldest sister just isn't a part of his life anymore, and him a part of her's. My older brother simply stays out of communication for as much as possible unless it's absolutely necessary to tell my dad something.
Me, the youngest, my dad's last hope to going to college and making something of myself (even though i already feel I have accomplished a helluva lot in my life) He feels the need to live vicariously through me.
I have my AOL name up most of the time, and if I'm not on AOL, my cell phone receives my instant messages. My dad is always on AOL as well, especially during the weekend evenings.
He gets incredibly stirred up and hostile on those two nights. (Friday and Saturday) and will routinely try to pick a fight with me or manipulate me in some way.
His newest "issue" is the fact that my husband and I bought tickets to go to Houston, Texas to visit my husband's family for Christmas.
This issue will not be dropped until he either A. gets an apology out of me. B. Rips into me as much as possible, including insulting my husband's family C.I admit I was wrong in some way and he finally feels he has been vindicated.
This is how it always goes. He is in serious need of professional help, but refuses to seek it out because he doesn't believe HE has the problem.
As for the ticket thing, my dad, myself, my favorite aunt (my dad's younger sister), my husband, and every other family member on my dad's side PLANNED a huge family get together in Seaside Oregon last year. My husband fought with three other Sargeants to get leave in December at Christmas time. If you're military, you KNOW how difficult this is! He did this in JANUARY! He had his leave approved for months, when my dad decided to cancel the whole trip and instead head East to spend the Holidays on the East Coast. (My dad and step mom live in Alaska)
Because 1. my half brother and his wife are pregnant. My step mom wants to come east. Understandable reason.
2. My step mom's mother isn't fairing too well. Yet another understandable reason.
3. My dad feels that I need to concentrate more on school.
4. I need to cover the "missed steps" in my treatments.
I fought him over the second two reasons because they were really, none of his business and he had no right to cancel OUR plans.
Well, fine...
Then I got a great idea, my husband's father returned from Iraq after 7 years being over there. My husband's mother lost her mother and sister in the space of a few months (this all happened this year!) She divorced her abusive husband (not my husband's father) and hasn't spent a Christmas with her son in 8 years, and has never spent a Christmas with me and my boys.
She was back in Texas, my husband's sisters were back in Texas. I felt , that if he had his leave in December, to make the most of it. I bought tickets to Texas.
This infuriated my Dad who had planned to stop by and visit with us on their very busy East Coast Holiday Itinerary.
So, last night...again, he attempted to make me into the horrible daughter who is the bad guy. Attempted to make me feel guilty.
I didn't take the bait.
The reason I'm writing this is because I don't know where else to gain support and understanding of being an adult child with an alcoholic parent.
I'm tired of him trying to manipulate me to get me to do what HE wants. I don't even know if I want him to come visit on December 26th.
I made the tickets from December 18-25th. Flying back ON Christmas so we could have a day with my dad and step mom.
That isn't enough for him.....