Originally Posted by joedris

I figure that this can go one of two ways. Either I'm the most powerful being in the universe (and if that's the case, be very, very careful) or there's another being out there more powerful than I am. And as the universe has been around long before I got here, then it's safe to assume that some being beat me to it and that being is more powerful than me. I can go with this simplistic route or read Acquinas, Agustintine, St Thomas More, Martin Luther etc. I've done both actually, but somehow the more simplistic approach is easier to deal with.

Now that I accept that some power greater than I exists, I presume that this power is a good being as there is goodness in this universe. From there I make the leap of faith that this being is capable of restoring me to sanity. Note the word capable as opposed to will. I'm certainly not capable of such a feat, although I've tried many times.

And that's all step 2 really is. AA doesn't insist you believe in a diety, and in it's preamble it specifically states that AA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution. Too many people get hung up needlessly on this step. I recommend that you focus on the word "capable" and move on. This step is one that
a lot of people take bit by bit. As you work through the other steps, you'll find that this isn't as big a hurdle as you thought.

Right now you need to go to meetings and get a sponsor. Trying to work through the Big Book without help is damn hard. You really need a sponsor to guide you. And try and lose the anger stuff. Anger leads to resentment and resentment leads back to the bottle. Recovery is hard enough. Don't complicate it.