I took baby steps to open myself up spiritually. When I was a teen, my best friend died. Weird things happened that convinced me I wasn't alone, that somehow he was getting a message to me that he was o.k.
That was the only concept I allowed in my life for the next 25+ years, that somehow we aren't alone, and that in the end we are more than food for the worms.
When I got sober, I had some things that were Too BIG for me to handle. My marriage was a wreck, I was living in terror of losing my daughter (for no reason except she was My Life), and I knew nothing of myself. As I walked around alone all day, I would converse with the universe/god/my loved ones lost/ who ever was "up there" listening.
I was terrible at it. I felt like the worst kind of fraud, because why would a god who could tell I didn't really believe listen or help me?
And soon enough, I kid you not, there were Signs. The weird things started happening. Doors I asked for help opening came open. Troubles I asked removed from my heart were removed.
I am crying writing this=) It is a scary, wonderful, comforting and humbling thing to have a spiritual awakening.
How do we as humans get by without this connection to the rest of the universe?
I did it for a long time, but I will never go back. For me, accepting that something more powerful than myself holds me in the palm of his/her/its hand and loves me is like stepping into the sunlight for the first time.