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Old 10-16-2009, 03:45 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Gypsy Feet
mergirl
 
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
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I took baby steps to open myself up spiritually. When I was a teen, my best friend died. Weird things happened that convinced me I wasn't alone, that somehow he was getting a message to me that he was o.k.

That was the only concept I allowed in my life for the next 25+ years, that somehow we aren't alone, and that in the end we are more than food for the worms.

When I got sober, I had some things that were Too BIG for me to handle. My marriage was a wreck, I was living in terror of losing my daughter (for no reason except she was My Life), and I knew nothing of myself. As I walked around alone all day, I would converse with the universe/god/my loved ones lost/ who ever was "up there" listening.

I was terrible at it. I felt like the worst kind of fraud, because why would a god who could tell I didn't really believe listen or help me?

And soon enough, I kid you not, there were Signs. The weird things started happening. Doors I asked for help opening came open. Troubles I asked removed from my heart were removed.

I am crying writing this=) It is a scary, wonderful, comforting and humbling thing to have a spiritual awakening.

How do we as humans get by without this connection to the rest of the universe?

I did it for a long time, but I will never go back. For me, accepting that something more powerful than myself holds me in the palm of his/her/its hand and loves me is like stepping into the sunlight for the first time.
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