My confusion over whether or not I'm an alcoholic has kept me drinking longer than I should have. In some ways I fit the definition and other ways do not. I can moderate SOMETIMES. Since I never fell into any classic pattern, I kept trying to tell myself I'm not an alcoholic.
I think I have finally realized that I am (an alcoholic). I have the genetic makeup for it, too, which just makes it seem more plausible. Also, I have ALWAYS been a problem drinker (going way back to college). I was just able to control it at various times in my life. I have never done many of the things people have done on here (such as drink in the morning to help a hangover, etc.) but I don't think that means I'm not an alcoholic. Following the definition Keith quoted, I am an alcoholic. I have had trouble quitting, big trouble, and many times I end up drinking more than I plan to.
I just attended my first AA meeting yesterday -- related SO much to what many of the people have said about their drinking, so there is no question to me now. I have kind of de-mystified the concept of alcoholism in my mind and it makes a little more sense to me now.
Penny, I hope you are able to find answers to your questions and alleviate the confusion you are feeling. My only response is that I think it takes time to get there for some of us. It has taken me a good year of thinking, reading, talking, planning etc. to get to the feeling I have today.