I totally understand 'freak out drinking' as I used to think of it as. I mean, I was FREAKING OUT!! I HAD to drink! The kinda cool thing about staying sober, is that you learn how strong you really are, and how situations can be dealt with so much more effectively and less emotionally with a clear head. Absolutely nothing about drinking tonight will fix anything about whether or not your bf is a liar, a cheat, or some other colorful descriptive.
When I first got sober, and had been for some time.. I started getting pretty confident.. smooth sailing all the way. My counselor reminded me gently that life still happens.. **** still happens. That in sobriety I have GOT to get a plan for how I CHOOSE to react to life when it literally brings me to my knees in anger, despair, pain, or "freak out".
Getting through whatever this is, sober.. will only strengthen you. Getting through it drunk, will be that same old coping mechanism that has yet to work out in your favor.