Lavash's story reminds me of a guy i met in rehab, heroin addict had been shooting up his wife for years, she didn't like needles, and had slept with someone else and got HIV...then passed it to his wife...she was in rehab the same time as him and the his plan was that they would get back together if she would just change...i then realised how insane we all were...and also that the story didn't really shock me that much because i could see myself in him...i also thought he was a really nice guy...
Doing a step 4 and looking at myself and my part in all things was the turning point for me to be able to begin to change...and it was not easy at all! A friend in NA commented that x was a nice guy...i said he is NOW...a cross section of (the scum of) society and i fit in well;-)
Last October i found a kitten on the road (the only animal i have ever honestly had feelings for, we had a cat when i was young and she was my only real companion). So i am by the side of this main road and i hear this miaowing, car runs over her and i run out into road...lucky not to get run over...anyways take to vet and home...bout 3 weeks later i am sitting in garden thinking how i am going to kill myself and this kitten is looking at me through the patio doors, so whilst i was working out who to give the little money i have left to, i kept thinking but who will look after trixie? So after some more thought i decided to go to an alcohol counselor and try one last time to get help...that kick started off the road to AA, which is littered with lots of co(God)-incidences. Weird huh?!
Love Shaun's post! Reminds me, totally different, of an time at a casino in Barcelona last year, i was playing blackjack €1000 a box and winning (on that night!), had a large crowd of guys around me that had apppeared one at a time, was getting pats on the back...comments that big up your ego etc...drunk obviously and i remember turning round and there was this woman there and she was looking at me with this absolute sadness and pity in her eyes, i turned away and looked again and still looking up at me...all i could think of for the next hour of playing was how can she see how i feel?! I could go on but the post would end up pages long;-)
Last edited by yeahgr8; 10-14-2009 at 02:09 AM.