Wow Sug. As always great post. I totally went back and relived moments when I was so desperate to get high. I felt so anxious and just desperate. Its a hateful feeling. But as soon as that definate possibility of getting something is there. Its like it all melts away. Like I got my security blanket back. You hit that so dead on. All that anxiety and desperation go away.
Thats so sad to thin about now.
I think we have all had our rituals. I know I have. And sometimes everyday actions mimic those rituals a little in some ways. So sometimes just doing a normal thing out of the blue can trigger that memory for me.
But like Sug said. You have to change your perspective. I did those same things before becoming an addict and didnt associate it with using. It just became habit. So now we need to make it a habit to not think like that.
It can be tough to transition back to regular thinking. But it is very possible.
And I am a firm believer that it all lies in just that. Perspective. Followed by behavior.
Congrats on 18 days. Keep it up.