Sugah

I'm in complete agreement with that statement -- and though I had many rituals over the years associated with my using (of many different substances), and as much as the ritual was almost as important to me as the substance itself -- it wasn't the issue. Gotta dig a little deeper for that.

Why, do you think, that a substance or ritual associated with the substance becomes so important? What kind of control do you think that helps we addicts impose on the uncontrollable? I recall hurting so badly for my poison--and feeling better as soon as it was in my possession, before I even used. I felt control. I felt that I would soon be better, and life was okay.

So, why is life not okay without it?

The problem, the real issue, for this addict isn't the substance or whatever ritual I develop to use the substance. It's me. I needed all of the above because I didn't have something deep inside; it filled a lack deep inside me. Simply quitting didn't "fix" me. I had to change--my thinking, my habits (rituals), the way I saw the world. Only when those changes took place was I free of the substances and rituals that went along with them.

Just my experience. Congrats on being clean. Prayers that you remain that way.

Peace & Love,
Sugah