Originally Posted by
takincareome 
You know what?
If that's what she wants to do, if she wants to come and see you, that is HER choice, HER responsibility and HER problem. NOT yours. It's up to her to choose to do that. She's a grown woman. Don't make yourself crazy worrying about her.
That e-mail was a textbook guilt trip. I know, because my mother does the same thing to me. Take a deep breath and see this for what it is: Manipulation. You don't have to respond to it.
Hugs.
Thanks for your responses. My main reason for elaborating on her method of transportation was to point out that she really hasn't put much thought into her travel method (considering she's talked about it since July) and the fact that it would cost her at least 300$ to go bus and taxi route. I wanted to express how irresponsible she is...not that I worry about how she gets here. That doesn't concern me except for the fact that somewhere throughout her traveling process, she's going to say last minute...oh..oops...your step-dad decided to drive me instead (even though he is not welcome near my property given his history of violence with me my whole life), or she will say, I need you to pick me up from the bus station (which would require me to drive an hour out of the way when I should be at home w/ my 3 kids). I know how she operates and she will manipulate previous plans so that she doesn't have to do it. She's done it to me before...put things on me last minute and put me in awkward situations. Plus, i look at it this way. If a person is not responsible enough to simply spend one day obtaining their driver's license (which she knows how to drive by the way--that's not the issue), how on earth can I expect them to travel by bus, then taxi, and get to my place responsibly without any complaints or issues? Something is bound to go wrong and I dont' even want to have to worry about that so that is why I am refusing to allow her to come by bus and taxi. She needs to grow up like everyone else, get a clue, and get her license if she wants to visit. Because i'm not going to pick up the slack when she wants me to. I see nothing wrong me with me making that choice and it also protects me in the long run b/c I have absolutely NO trust that she can do anything on her own. She never tries to and will try to put it on me like it's my problem when it isn't. Sorry....just not interested in dealing with that. Plus...I'm not interested in allowing a loser like her to come into my house and spend a few hours with my children two times a year so they can go home and say "Look at what I did. I'm such a great grandma!" Nope. No more. Sorry. I dont' think there's anything wrong with that. Unless i'm missing something somewhere along the lines--but don't think so.