Thanks, guys.
Windy, it did make me feel crappy. Probably the 2nd worst drug experience I've had. Pure misery, even when I was high.
Originally Posted by
Overman 
Gneiss, I find it helpful to seperate the addiction from my identity.
I may be alcoholic, but that does not DEFINE who I AM as a person.
It's simply a condition or a problem I struggle with.
Likewise, your cocaine problem doesn't DEFINE you. Your IDENTITY is completely seperate!
That might really help me. And probably all the lovey-dovey stuff Bam said earlier. I'm pretty hard on myself, far harder than I am on my roommate, for example, who has similar drug problems to mine and is also trying to stop and was right there doing coke with me the other night. It's easier to forgive him than forgive myself.
The weird thing is I really don't have a coke problem. It's a party drug to me, I don't want it, I don't even especially like it. I did meth, that was my real addiction, and I'd do coke when I couldn't get meth. It's been 4 months since I've done meth and I still fight with that. That's what is stupid about it, I can't blame it on being addicted to coke because I really am not. Nothing to blame it on except being stupid the other night.
Thanks everyone. I hope everyone else is doing well! I'm feeling better now. I meant to check in last night but I sat down on the loveseat and fell asleep... 1000 chiropractors can't fix what sleeping on a loveseat will do to your spine. Ouch.
Hugs all around!