Thanks for all of your responses.
I still struggle with the bitter taste left from that crazy night - however, everything is a learning experience right?
Someone suggested that I might be worried about what others are thinking of me - this is not the case in this situation. I worry how my clients will behave now in a clinical session (ex: how will it start/end etc...) as I'm sure we will both feel a bit bent about this.
Again, I thank you all for the input. I think I will keep truckin along and looking for what fits when it comes to meetings. I am confident about the program (that's obvious) and the team of recovering angels that I have met here. I feel supported in that area. I do worry about the loneliness though (which was my trigger for attempting a meeting in the first place) as well as how I am to deepen this experience of recovery - so I will hand it over (like everything else) and see what comes next.