Thanks Mike for the encouragement and for sharing a little bit about your experiences. As sad as this sound, I have to be honest in saying that my life is honestly better and happier when I don't think they exist....almost as if they are dead. However, if I acidentally run into photos of them (like on Facebook for example), then I get really angry. LOL So i have to try to avoid those things. It's hard for me to move on and let go of the hope. Even though I know in my head what is the truth and that these people are happy with how they live their lives in dysfunction...I still hope for change. That's the part that kills me and is keeping me from moving on. But as long as I can recognize it, refrain from blaming myself (basically self-sabotaging), stop feeling responsible for hurting and telling someone the truth about how I feel, realize and remember that MY opinions DO matter in relationships, MY feelings are important feedback to others in relationships, the happier and the more functional I will be as an adult. It's interesting too b/c in my professional life (I'm a nurse's aide), I have worked with many nurses who have been able to support and teach me what is healthy and what is not. I'm lucky to have a career where others are supportive and also where I can see toxic patients (drug addicts, alcoholics, manipulators, mentally ill) in action as well and practice setting boundaries with them as well. If I won't put up with disrespectful behavior from co-workers, patients, and even friends...why on earth do and I should I ever have to put up with it from my family of all people? My husband tells me all the time....they are not ur true family b/c if they were...they would love you, respect you, build you up, and you would be able to have an open relationship with no strings attached.
Considering all that I've been thru...I'm very lucky for the life I have today thanks be to my husband (poor guy for his long suffering lol). he has shown me how to have a sense of humor, been honest with me to the point of it hurting...but helping, let me cry on his shoulder and every other good thing he has done. I'm very lucky.
Thank you for sharing those resources with me. Any books you may recommend in particular? I just might consider going to an Al-Anon meeting in the area. It's hard b/c I'm very busy with the kids, work, and going to school for nursing, but it's still possible.
Thanks again and best wishes to you in your endeavors.
