Originally Posted by
mirage 
Hilltopper got me thinking about the cycle some of us go through with drinking.
How we stop for a few days, feel great... and then reward ourselves with a drink again. Besides the addiction part, I've been thinking about something else.
Sometimes I wonder if I drink after a few days so I can feel bad to appreciate feeling good again. I know this sounds nuts, but hear me out. After a few days of feeling good, I sort of lose my perspective as to what "good" feels like. It doesn't feel "good" to feel sober, it just feels normal. But if I get tanked and get all hungover...boy, the next morning I'm NOT... feels fabulous! There's probably something deeper goin on here, but it's a starting point. Thoughts?
(That smiley icon has absolutely no relevance...just wanted to try it.)
A big part of my recovery was finding new 'rewards' in life other than drinking. Also new coping skills. Those were probably the two biggest reasons for my drinking on a lot of occasions. To reward myself for things like (this is how sick I was...) going to the gym, cleaning my house, working hard that day, dealing with stressful situations.. whatever. In terms of drinking to cope.. meaning drinking to deal with boredom, sadness, excitement, celebration, anger, the wind blowing, the sun coming up.. you get my drift.
In active addiction I never thought of the negative consequences as a deterrent for future drinking, had I been able to do that, I probably wouldn't have gotten drunk again after my first hangover, my first lock up in jail/detox, my first car wreck, my first drunken break up... Obviously negative consequences of just one more hangover wouldn't deter me from more drinking, hasn't yet! Seems a bit counterproductive to quit an addiction by engaging in said addicition to feel the negative consequences..huh? That, to me, makes about as much sense as me going out right now, snorting up an 8 ball of coke and dealing with the negatives for a few days so I wouldn't do it again. lol.. holy rationalization to use, batman!!! to me it was much easier to stop drinking by actually stopping drinking. Who'da thunk it?
Interesting.