Dallar

:praying First let me tell you about myself I am a 40 year old female who has been taking Lorcet Plus (a pain Killer) on and off for 15 years due to a medical condition in my lower back. I have seen over 50 different doctors and had many many medical things done but they all write the script in the mean time. I have tried to quit cold turkey on my own before but for me withdrawls are flu like symtoms x 100 I run fevers, I throw up, I cannot stay out of the bathroom. I have shakes, cramps in my stomach and I feel like I am abt to die and the whole time my back is killing me. My cold turkey quitting lasted less than 24 hours and I found someone I could buy some from and did. Within 2 hours I felt fine again.

Once abt 4 years ago I went to the same doctor that has been giving them to me for 6 years and told him I didnt want to take them anymore. So he did the weining off thing, I went from 10 mgs to 7.5 and then 3 months at 5mgs. When those ran out I went threw abt 10 hours of withdrawls and bought them. Went back to the doctor and he gave them to me again.

Now its been 4 or so years and I cannot remember a day I havent taken them, I have been perscribed 4 or 40 mgs a day but I take more like 8 or 80 mgs which means I run out way before I am suppose too and then buy the rest until my next refill. Which makes me always broke. And is the number one problem in my house whole my bf and I fight about money more than anything because I would spend every dime I had on them. As far as I am concerned I can live without alot of things but not them.

I have decided on my own that it is time to stop all together and this time I plan to go threw detox. I found a place that does inhouse detox and I am walking in Monday morning. I do not know a think about detox other than what they told me on the phone. I am scared to death, I am scared about detox, I am scared about doing it alone with out anyone I know being their, I am scared about failing and most of all I am scared abt the back pain coming back. Right now I am keeping myself so medicated that I dont have back pain but what happens when the pain meds are out of my system and the pain comes back.

Just like I told the doctor when I he first wrote the script in the begining, I wake up in pain, I spend my day in pain and I go to bed with the help of another drug in pain. The only time I am not in pain is when I am asleep. If this is what I have to look forward to every day then I dont see a point in living. Please do not take this as a sucide msg because I am not going to hurt myself or anyone else.

I have already set myself up to fail, I want to do this because I want to give it a try but I am so scared that if I dont get a good support system in place that I will fail and start using again.

I joined this group in hopes that someone could tell me more about detox and what to expect. I have had a few people I know go threw this and they told me some things but I fear that it was sugar coated. Most people I know who detox did it from other types of drugs not pain killers. Any advice that anyone has, I look forward to hearing abt even if it isnt detox info. I don't know about other withdrawl medications I have taken metodone before but I really didnt like it and would rather not take it again. But after reading other post today I understand that this Suboxen is habit forming as well. I thought that from listing to a friend that when your in the detox hospital they give you a shot of it every 4 hours to help with withdrawls for abt 2 or 3 days and then they change you to a pill form. But I thought in 2 weeks which is what I understand it takes for pain killers withdrawls to be back to normal that you no longer take that either.

I already have been diagnoised with Insomnia and I dont sleep without some form of sleeping medication. My same dr gives me abien but that really doesnt work as well as other drugs like sequirel ( I dont know how to spell it) and klopine mixed together those work better to help me sleep all night but I was getting those from a shrink and she didnt know about the pain killers and I had to stop going to her because I could afford to pay my co pay and pay for pain killers too.

Anyway I am looking for friends who have been their and done that maybe some one who can be supportive and give me advice.

I am going to read a few more post then I am going to clean my house because I have to get ready to be gone for an unlimited amt of time.

Thanks for listening.