Pennylane -
I am thrilled that he was so supportive when you told him about your concerns, and yes, his response is exactly the same response that I got from my spouse (who has also been very supportive despite not being completely sure whether I was an alcoholic).
Now comes the hard part, though. It will be the game played in your mind. As others have said, only you can determine whether you are an alcoholic or not, but if you find it was bothering you, why not stop? If you aren't an alcoholic, then stopping drinking for a while shouldn't bother you. If you are feeling cravings and you are having to use "will power" not to drink, then you may be.
I'm sure you have already heard this, but many people say that an alcoholic who is not drinking but also who hasn't fixed the underlying root cause as to why they must drink is a "dry drunk". The way I was told was that my problem wasn't that I drank, it was that I had other problems that I used drinking to cover up. So, the logic is that you need to work on those "other" problems so you won't need the drink.
In a couple of weeks, months, years, etc. your mind will begin to tell you that you can drink again. Maybe you can, I don't know. But what I have learned is that by working on those root cause problems in my life, I am becoming a better person and the side benefit is that I don't want to drink (or at least the cravings are manageable).
And for me, the way to work on those other problems is the 12 step program, in my case through AA. The 12 steps are giving me the tools to work on those root cause problems and the benefits are being felt in many aspects of my life.
What can he do to help you?
- He can easily do some research into addiction on the internet to learn more about the disease model of alcoholism.
- He can learn more through Al Anon (= AA but for the family members) at
Welcome to Al-Anon and Alateen
- He can keep an open mind (like he seems to be doing).
Take care