Saphie you are doing great, stay in the day, keep it simple, keep workiing at it, you will find something if you keep an open mind.
You know Saphie I spent many a year thinking I had control, I was the one in charge, heck I recall driving around a parking lot making deals with God if he would just get me a parking space........... well I would go around to the next row and there it was!!! An empty parking spot!!! Of course instead of thanking God I would say in my head "Never mind God, I Found one without you!"
How foolish I was, I spent my whole life asking God for help when the chips were down and when he pulled my butt out of the fire I was in did I give him the least bit of credit? Heck no, in no time at all I would be bragging about how I had got myself out of this jam or that!
After reaching the point in my drinking where I had to drink just to function every day or bad things would start to happen to me, I finally admitted that I alone could not stop or stay stopped drinking, I needed help!
I finally have learned that I alone can not stay sober, but WE can!
I never again will ask others or God for help and then when I get it take all the credit myself.
BTW I use the word God because it is just easier then saying "A higher Power of my understanding" God and a lot of other folks help me stay sober, do not get me wrong, in the end it is all up to me to accept the help & guidance of others and to make the right decisions, but I do not make them alone, but I do take full responsibilty for all of my actions.