Originally Posted by
Learn2Live 
Oh Caitsmith,
I am so sorry for what you are going through. Please find some small comfort in knowing that SO MANY of us here at SR know what you are going through because we go through it too. Cocaine is a horrible drug so I know he is probably just so mean when he is doing it. Alcohol too. I was an angry drunk once. Like your husband, I also am a binge alcoholic. I got myself into recovery and have been doing well with that.
Your husband's binges are part of a cycle that will continue until he decides to stop. Five weeks sounds like a long time to me too. Is there any way he can get into detox at a medical center or local hospital? This program you speak of, EDDAS, can you call them and find out if there is any other program that might have a shorter wait list?
Because you say do not have any other social supports, I sincerely recommend you find an Al-Anon meeting as soon as you are able. You will find a lot of support at Al-Anon and they will give you their phone numbers for you to call them when you need someone to talk to. You can find the Al-Anon number right in your local phone book. If you need transportation, someone will even come pick you up; all you have to do is ask.
You know everything is going to be okay, right? I'll tell you something my mother taught me many years ago when I was in the same state you are in because of cocaine addiction. What she told me, in short, was: I know that right now things seem terrible, painful, bad. But always remember during bad times that there are good times ahead. And by the same token, when those good times have arrived, keep in mind that there will always be bad times ahead.
So, Caitsmith, your job right now is to BREATHE and continue breathing. Often we become so upset and paralyzed by the bad we think is going to happen, the "What-ifs" that we lose control of ourselves Today. Bring yourself back to the present moment and think about some of the good things ahead of you. Here is the Serenity Prayer that will help you bring yourself back to the present moment:
God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
When I first got into recovery, I must have said this prayer over and over a million times in the first two weeks. Even now, when I begin to panic over one thing or another, I just automatically start saying it.
You can do this Caitsmith, and you WILL. You are NOT alone. We are all going through this with you. :ghug2