Thanks everyone,
Nothing I've experienced during the difficult times of not drinking has even compared to the difficult times while drinking. My consumption of alcohol has caused, in many ways, irreversible damage in my life. I know all too well that having a drink can make any problem I have much, much worse. So, I'm pulling through this the best I can and hope that the fact that it's not all smooth sailing doesn't offend anyone. I'd love to say I'm doing cartwheels down the street, but the fact is, at fifty, I'm happy to just be able to walk down the street, so I guess that's the way it is with recovery too. Sometimes we trudge along, and sometimes we skip along while carrying a happy tune, but today it's enough just not to drink and stay focused on not letting my obsession to escape life compell me to do so.
I'm hanging in there, one minute at a time. Thanks to all.