Saphie,
I am very much a realist, just like you. And am relatively new to this whole process, and just started going to AA meetings.
I'm wondering, do you believe in electricity? I'm guessing you do, since you're using a computer. Did you know our bodies run on electricity, too? Our brains wouldn't function without it. Neither would our hearts, our muscles, our digestive tract. What if spirituality is just that electrical force, that connects all of us with each other and with the world? What if being spiritual means finding some way to plug in to the rest of the world, rather than sitting alone, thinking we have all the answers?
This is how I've come to understand spirituality, and how I've come OK to go to AA meetings. I'm plugging in with other alcoholics, those who have much more experience and intelligence and can help me along the way. I am still struggling with the concept of "giving it up to God" or whatever, but I'm sure I'll come to some understanding. Standing up, holding hands at the end, saying a prayer ... I may not believe in a "Father" or big guy sitting on a fluffy cloud, but holding hands and saying the words with everyone else plugs me in. And it's like a salve on raw nerves.
I know, I'm probably sounding pretty wacky here, but this is how I'm starting to understand things. I don't need to know all the answers to go with the flow and ask for help ...
Best,
PL