Welcome Max. I don't have much sage wisdom for you, but wanted you to know I identify with your situation and that of foo as well. I have pretty much lived the life you described, but kept it up for 20+ years. I gotta tell you, it doesn't get better, only worse. If I could go back and change one thing in my life, and I have many, many regrets, it would be not to have taken up the drinking and smoking. All of the negative things you have described, the stunted social skills, the lost opportunities, only get worse the longer you continue. Try to imagine being in your situation, but at age 40...including the part about living with your parents!! That's where I am and it's not a great place to be. I'm starting to put it back together again, have almost 6 months clean, but I've lost so much.
Both Keith and Taz have some good recovery in their lives and give good advice. Listen to what they have to say and give it a shot. Take care.