Hey fooman, I can identify with your perfect life, I also seem to have a pretty perfect life with my problem being getting high/drunk. I remember a few months ago my parents hadn't caught me doing anything for a long time and my relationship with them was getting almost too good. It pissed me off, like some family out of the 1950's. I almost think I wanted it to get messed up, which is insane. I think I finally see how much I've put myself through and my relationships with those who actually care about me and am ready to just call it quits. It wares on us too much and we don't even realize it because we use drugs/alcohol to try and ignore it.