We all have today. The past is history, tomorrow is a mystery but TODAY is a gift, that is why they call it the PRESENT. Keep trying. It only takes a desire to stop. And soon the rest will follow.
I've dropped the ball so many times, I don't even remember where the ball was when I dropped it. I just know I was playing around alone in my mind and my thoughts. Sometimes my thoughts were grandios and sometimes my thoughts were depressingly pathetic. My mind is a scary place for me to be hanging out in. I learned I could not do this alone. I now talk with someone. I can't stop those thoughts but I don't have to entertain them. Have a great TODAY.
Take care.