Bard,
Yours was one of the first posts I saw when I joined up at this site. Maybe you're like me, Bard, one of those hopeless alcoholics.
For me, there was only two alternatives. I could go on, living as I was, trying to get sober and failing, trying to manage my crumbling life as best I could, or to ssek spiritual help.
I didn't want any spiritual solution. I didn't believe in it, and was vehemently opposed to the idea. But I saw that it worked in others, and I knew what I was doing wasn't working.
I became open to the idea that I didn't have to believe in it or agree with it. I just had to take the actions that would bring about that spiritual awakening.