Good job, goldberry. It takes a lot of practice - practicing small actions and statements over and over and over again until they become your NEW second nature.
I can't recall if you've read "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie? Many of the feelings and behaviors you describe are in there. A great read.
Try to remember: She is on her journey, and you are on yours. It is not your job - or your right - to shape the path hers takes, and since you are an adult, it is no longer her job to shape yours either.
Hang in there
