Trying this again....
I've been drinking again. That drive and passion I had for a few months where I hardly thought twice about drinking seem to of have gone up in smoke. And now it only seems when I'm sitting around hungover do I think about trying to get back on the wagon again. But come a day, two, or three later that gets thrown right out the window and all my mind seems to be wrapped around is getting drunk again. And that vicious cycle of wishing I was sober when I was drunk and dreaming of being drunk when I'm sober starts up all over again.
What worries me is like i don't care anymore. I mean I do care and dont want to get all messed up again. I got a good job after spending almost a year on unemployment which I've already got into a little trouble after having some to hungover to work days and I just KNOW if this keeps up I very well can lose my job. but it's like I don't care anymore when I still do if that makes any sence. I don't know what else to put here, just god save me from myself.....