Interesting that you bring up the telling your husband (or not) part.. I did the exact same thing. I knew I had a serious problem with alcohol well before I talked to him about it. I never said anything because I knew that would make it 'real' and hold me accountable for doing something about it. It gave me permission to keep drinking, and what a lonely world that was... of all people, my best friend didn't even know what was going on with me.
By the time I talked to him, his response was not of shock or unaware.. it was of "bout time you realized it". He is PROUD of me.. and has created just one more piece of accountability for me in living a better life. We are closer than we've ever been, and sure it gives me no more permission to drink, but wasn't that the entire point of quitting? To not drink anymore and to get off my rear end and address what was going on with me?
It's such a better life, I promise you that. Living with complete honesty in a relationship.. taking away the numbing effects of alcohol out of it.. it's just a great thing!