Joe
Just going to be unfront with love here ok.. Normal people don't come posting on these boards. I commend you for having an open mind.
I didn't know for sure until I read AA's Big Book. Heck I was 22 when I got sober, I mean I really liked that buzz.. 18 years later I understand what you are asking FOR SURE, but I always come back to when I was drinking, what was my pattern. Why do I relate to AA so much.
My wife had 12 years sober and now just 48 days. She just wanted to be normal with her friends at girls night. We let up on meetings with 2 kids, house etc. We almost lost it all.
Is the desire to drink worth everything? And who in their right mind would take a chance? Oh Yea. Me drinking!