I come here everyday. Thats helps me. I also have a daily readings book that I have made a thread of here. Body Mind and Spirit that I read everyday.
But once that obsession of using goes away. Sow ill the obsession of being stuck in recovery.
I am just egtting to that point myself where I can have a normal day where all my thoughts arent about trying not to use or wanting to use. It really isnt even part of my thinking much anymore. As before all I thought about was using, The past, not using, being scared. I mean I was 24/7 thinking about either using or not using. I also would talk about either all the time. I dont even mention it too much anymore. And I will tell you. It feels really good to not be a slave physically, mentally or emotionally anymore for either of it.
Anytime I got money I would have anxiety for days. And all I could think about was battling myself to try and not go get high. Now it really doesnt even cross my mind. At least it isnt the first thing anyway.
Now I look forward to paying bills and buying things I need and want. Going and doing things.
This attempt at recovery for me is very very differetn than any before.
And it is just happening naturally. I have to be sure and not feed those little thoughts if they do come up. I stop in an instant and just make it known to myself. It is not even an option. So dont even try and rationalise it.
And once I started doing that and meanig it. It has helped so much. I do have to do something for my recovery at least once a day.
But my life doesnt have to revolve around it anymore.
Your not alone.